First rate interactive museum, which I may have seen more of if my then 3-year-old wasn’t dead petrified of automatically flushing toilets. I was able to tour the part of the museum where we sit in a town hall meeting while colonists argue about what to do about the taxation-without-representation issue, and I was able to be part of the tour that goes on the deck and looks at the blocks of tea and my older daughter got to actually toss one overboard! That’s what I saw of the museum, and it was great up to this point – really great. We were ready to enter the museum proper, but my little one had to use the potty. I made it into the first room of the museum building and that was the end of the museum experience for me. The rest of my time there was spent in bathroom turmoil. I know the post-it note trick. All moms know the post-it trick. Every helpful mom I’ve met has suggested the post-it note trick. Doesn’t work for my Little Bit. Holding her above the toilet? Doesn’t work. I go first and she can personally witness that I survived the experience? No. Bribery? No. She WILL pee in her pants rather than sit on the Spiraling Death Vortex of Water Suckage. So, this is a new museum, and the only toilets in it were automatic. Can you hold it, baby? No. Will you stop crying while the awesomely cool HOLOGRAPHIC characters are discussing the oncoming war? No. Are those other museum visitors staring at us? Do I really have to leave in the middle of a hologram? A HOLOGRAM I tell you. Yes. Will I be able to find a non-flush toilet and rejoin the rest of the family? No. The entrance times are staggered, I would only be able to re-enter at another time slot. Is the museum in the middle of downtown Boston and there are no nearby buildings to duck into because most of them have now closed? Yes. What is a mother to do? Pee over the side of the boat, baby. I will hold you, try to aim off the deck. What? Did you spray urine onto your shorts and shoes from that angle? Is that even geometrically possible? Oh, so now I need to find a sink to rinse your clothes in, and hopefully an air-dryer. Yay! There is one. This only takes forever. Oh, hello family. Yes, this is a nice gift shop. Glad I could join you. And THAT is my experience at the Boston Tea Party Museum. It seems like it was probably really cool.
Fifty State Family 